


Something to Come Back To

by bibliotaph



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Abuse, Adam Parrish Swears, Angst, Blood, Brief mention of Opal, Canon-Typical Violence, Crying, Drunk Robert, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, Ronan Lynch Loves Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch Swears, Some good old fluff, TRK spoilers, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 01:03:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14801372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bibliotaph/pseuds/bibliotaph
Summary: Adam thought it would be Ronan on the other side of his apartment door.It was not.





	Something to Come Back To

**Author's Note:**

> t/w: non-graphic violence from Robert (he does punch Adam but their interaction ends quickly after that), some verbal abuse, panic attack

     It was long after dusk when Adam looked up from his homework. He’d gotten home from his last job of the day a few hours ago and when returning to his little apartment that he rented from St. Agnes Church, he began his homework straightaway. 

It was only a few minutes after Adam noticed the time when he heard a loud, rapid, knock on his door. Adam groaned inwardly but smiled knowing that Ronan had no patience when arriving at Adam’s. As he stood up, he stretched and sighed. The loud knocking pounded even louder, if possible.   
  
“I’m coming, I’m coming.” Adam grumbled.    
  
But when Adam opened the door, it wasn’t Ronan that greeted him.    
  
It was his father.

Adam could smell the alcohol seeping through Robert Parrish’s pores. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair was thin and wild. Adam froze for a moment, afraid to even breathe. 

“You ruined our lives —” His father’s words slurred vulgarly but Adam’s heart pounded so loudly against his rib cage that he missed half the words his father had said. Adam closed the door so only his body showed, hoping to hint to his drunk father he was not welcomed here.   
  
“No,” Adam started speaking slowly, attempting to hide how shaky he felt. “You ruined your own.”    
  
His father barked a laugh in disbelief and took another swing of the alcohol he had.   
“Your existence was fucking exhausting.” Robert ranted on, spitting in Adam’s face. But he felt detached. As if he floated away and was watching the scene unfold in a different perspective. It wasn’t until he realized his father had stopped talking, eyes narrowed down at him as he waited for Adam’s reaction. It took him a moment before he realized he needed to say something.   
  
Adam swallowed before speaking.    
  
“I think you should leave.”   
  
Adam’s father glared at his son before trying to glance in his apartment then back to Adam.   
Before Adam knew what was happening, his father pushed the door open forcefully, making Adam stumble backwards, before slamming it shut again. His father took the collar of Adam’s shirt and harshly pinned him against the wall. Adam’s head bounced off the wall with such force that his vision darkened for a moment.   
  
“You were so fucking ungrateful!” Robert yelled and Adam found himself detaching from his body once again.    
  
His body wanting to so badly to return to its old skin. Back when he still lived in that trailer park, back when he thought he wasn’t worth a single damn penny and believed he didn’t deserve love.    
Instead of giving in however, Adam simply glared down at his father. With shaky hands and with little courage he could muster, he shoved his father back.   
  
“Get the fuck out.” Adam said.   
  
“You little—“    
  
“I said get the fuck out!” Adam shouted, pointing towards the door.    
  
Robert took another swing of his drink and punched Adam in the face.   
  
Adam staggered back, hand reaching up towards the left side of his face. He had not been hit in over a year. Things were going great with school, work, his friends and with Ronan. . .  _ Ronan _ .    
  
Adam shut his eyes and breathed in deeply.    
  
“Not so tough anymore are you.” It was not a question. “You will be respectful to me as I am still your God damn father.” Robert spat.    
  
Adam said nothing.    
  
“Oh so you’re going to give me the silent treatment now.” Robert’s hands raised in frustration. For what? Adam didn’t know why.   
  
Last time his father came to his apartment, he’d spoken very little and Cabeswater had helped him get his father out. But Cabeswater was gone and his father was not drunk last time.   
  
Robert growled and charged towards Adam.   
  


Adam didn’t want to get hit again.   
  
Instead, Adam ducked before the next blow and scurried towards his desk to grab his keys. Then he bolted toward the door and ran out. He briefly heard his father curse in pain as his hand more than likely hit the wall Adam was in front of. But his blood had rushed to his head and he couldn’t hear anything from his hearing ear.   
Before his father could rush out and finish what he started, Adam climbed into his old beat up Hondayota and slammed the keys in before starting it. His face throbbed has he drove to the location he knew his father couldn’t reach him. And where he felt safe.   
  
  


***  
  


_ Ronan _ . Adam thought desperately as he drove up to The Barns. He was relieved to see that his boyfriend’s BMW was parked in the driveway and not missing, which would indicate he was at Manmouth Manufacturing. Adam parked and as he got out, his legs felt like jelly. His breathes were jagged as he felt a panic attack beginning.   
  
‘ _ Ronan isn’t going to want to see this _ .’ Adam thought as he walked to the front door hesitantly.    
  
But just before he built up the courage to knock, the door swung open.   
  
Ronan Lynch stood there tall and beautiful. Him and Adam stared at each other for a split second before he watched Ronan’s eyes shift to the bruise forming on Adam’s slim face.

  
“What the fuck happened Parrish?” Ronan lifted his hand and gently cupped Adam’s cheek.   
  
Adam didn’t want the tears to come.    
  
But they spilled out before he could blink them away.   
  
“Fuck, get in here.” Ronan pulled Adam inside quickly and dragged him to the living room couch.    
  
“Hold on.” Ronan hands shook in anger, already assuming what had happened, and he so badly wanted to unleash it.    
  
Instead, Ronan grabbed a blanket and brought it to Adam but didn’t offer it to him right away. Ronan sat in front of Adam, on the coffee table.   
  
Adam’s head was bent down, his chin hitting his chest, and his hands wrapped around himself. Ronan noticed how small and frightened his boyfriend looked. He was no longer the boy that worked so hard both inside and outside of school. He wasn’t the boy who refused to tell anyone that something was wrong.    
  
He was a boy that is scared and trusts Ronan enough to go to him in a time of distress.   
  
“Adam,” Ronan whispered.   
  
“He was drunk.” Adam blurted. “He was drunk and he forced his way inside. He—he—“ Adam couldn’t breathe.   
  
Ronan had his own fair share of panic attacks and he knew not the touch Adam without his permission. But God, how he wanted to hug him tightly and whisper something reassuring.   
  
“Adam, spread your knees apart and bend your head down and  _ breathe _ .” Ronan demanded.    
  
Adam did exactly that, reaching out to grab Ronan’s hand and squeezed, wanting something to help ground him as he began to breathe heavily.    
  
Once Adam felt like he had control of his breathing, he sat back up again and looked at Ronan.   
  
Ronan’s eyes said _ “can I comfort you?”  _ __  
__  
Adam’s eyes said _ “yes.” _   
  
So Ronan moved to sit next to Adam and wrapped his arm around Adam’s frame. He pulled his boyfriend towards him, feeling Adam shutter.    
  
Adam felt a low growl come from Ronan’s chest.   
  
“I’m going to kill that son of a bitch.” Ronan stated.   
  
Adam said nothing.   
  
They stayed like that for what felt like hours to Ronan. Adam played with a string from his shirt before yanking it off and Ronan noticed how Adam’s hands weren’t shaking anymore. Ronan moved his thumb up and down in slow movements on Adam’s shoulder as a reminder to Adam that he was safe.   
  
__ ‘But he’s not safe. His father came to his apartment and forced himself in.’ Ronan argued. He felt a new wave of anger hit him in full force.   
  
“Ronan,” Adam whispered. Ronan said nothing, encouraging him to continue.   
  
“He was still in the apartment when I left.”    
  
“Shit.” Ronan replied.

  
“Should we–” Adam paused.

  
“You don’t want to wait until morning?” Ronan asked. Adam shook his head.

  
“I’m worried he might have found that stash of money I keep under my bed.”

  
“You mean the cereal box.” Ronan smirked. Adam laughed dryly.

  
“Shut up.”

  
“Alright.” Ronan didn’t want to go when Adam was with him but he knew his boyfriend would have protested. He didn’t want to argue with him tonight.

  
They began to move apart and got up from a very comfortable position. Ronan walked to the kitchen and grabbed his keys from the counter then picked up the blanket he brought in earlier.

  
“Here ya go big guy,” Ronan undid the blanket and threw it on Adam’s shoulders. Adam looked at it in confusion.

  
“It’s cold out, you idiot.” Ronan answered. Adam was about to reply but decided against it. Instead, he took the ends and curled it in front of his chest. With a sound of approval, Ronan lead Adam out of his childhood home. 

 

“What about Opal?” Adam asks.

  
“Once the brat is out, she’s out.” Ronan grunted. “She doesn’t wake up even if I draw on her face.”

  
Adam shuffled a laugh.

  
“What do you think you’re doing, Parrish?” Ronan pauses when he noticed Adam heading for his car.

  
“I’m driving to my apartment.” Adam says as if it was obvious. Ronan shook his head.

  
“Get in the passenger seat. You are not driving in that dumpshit.” 

  
“I got here in this dumpshit.” Adam resorted back.

  
“You might as well just stay here for the night. We’re only making sure your shit fuck of a father didn’t take your cash.”

  
Adam sighed, causing a white puff appear in front of him. It really was cold, and his heater didn’t work properly.

  
“Fine.” Adam said as he climbed into Ronan’s BMW. 

  
***

  
The drive back to Adam’s apartment was silent. However, it wasn’t awkward but quite comfortable in Adam’s opinion. Ronan was about to turn on his awful music but Adam reached out and slapped his hand away. 

  
“I am not listening to your trash music, Lynch.” Adam argued.

  
“It is not  _ trash _ ,” Ronan pretended to look insulted. “Admit that you secretly love it.” 

  
“I won’t and will never love your music taste.” Adam replied.

  
“Fuck you, Adam Parrish. Insulting my music tastes.” Ronan made a noise of distress. Both boys were smiling though at the end of their conversation. Unfortunately their smiles fade as they turned into the parking lot of Adam’s apartment. 

  
“His truck is gone.” Adam states. While Ronan grunts in acknowledgment.

  
They exit the BMW and climb up the stairs to find that the apartment door was still slightly open. When Adam pushed it open he realized the damage that took place inside. The chair for his desk had fallen on the floor, the papers for his homework had scattered around the room and his bed was unmade. There was a small splatter of blood on the ugly orange wall from where Robert hit his hand instead of Adam. 

  
Ronan sucked a breath in from examining the scene.

  
Both boys recovered quickly though and started cleaning the mess up. Ronan went to the bathroom to find something for the blood while Adam reached under his bed and pulled out an old, battered, cereal box. He opened it and found everything inside untouched. Adam gave a sigh of relief and grabbed the cash. Ronan entered the room again with supplies just has Adam stuffed everything in his pockets.

  
“All good?” Ronan asked.

  
“Yeah.” Adam nodded.

  
They continued on in silence. Adam picked his chair up and collected the homework he’d finished before everything happened and shoved it in his backpack. He still has school in the morning and he still has work to go to. So Adam packed extra clothes for tomorrow along with his uniform.

Ronan said nothing as he finished wiping the blood off and turned to see Adam in a daze beside his bed.

  
“Perrish.” Ronan spoke loud enough to get Adam’s attention.

  
“What?” Adam glared at his boyfriend.

  
“Quit thinking about getting me naked in your bed.” Ronan teased. 

  
Automatically, Adam felt heat in his cheeks before shaking his head in denial.

  
Ronan barked a laugh and walked over, snaking an arm on Adam’s waist and setting his chin over Adam’s head. Adam’s hands reached to hold on to Ronan’s arms and they rocked slightly in silence. Adam closed his eyes and breathed in.

  
He didn’t know how long they stood there, but eventually they let each other go. Adam made sure to lock his door and Ronan drove them back to The Barns. This time however, Adam let Ronan listen to his shitty music.   
  
  


***  
  


Upon returning to The Barns, Ronan parked the car but didn’t move from his seat. Adam took his seat belt off and turned his body so he faced Ronan.   
  
“What is it?” Adam asked. He noticed Ronan’s facial expression was pinched and wary. But instead of responding to Adam’s question, Ronan shook his head.   
  
“Let’s get inside.”    
  
Adam wasn’t going to push Ronan. The wasn’t how things worked with him and he knew if it was important, he would eventually tell Adam. So they exited the BMW and walked in through the front door. Though, Adam has been inside Ronan’s childhood home plenty of times, Adam still looked around the house briefly. A habit he developed when he still lived in the trailer.   
  
“I’m making us sandwiches.” Ronan declared as he walked past Adam, to the kitchen.   
  
“I’ll help.” Adam said as he folded the blanket and dropped his backpack on it.   
  
Adam knew where everything was. Often, he would come to The Barns just for the company. When the walls of his run-down apartment felt suffocating and his mind was plagued with memories he would rather not remember.    
  
Once he finished with work, he’d drive to see Ronan. Sometimes he would attempt to work on homework and Ronan would tease him about being a teacher's pet and annoy the hell out of him until Adam finally gave up even trying to get anything done. It was always worth the hold though.   
  
Other nights, they spent time outside with Opal, teaching her all the different constellations and the names of different planets and stars. Or they’d stay inside, spending hours just talking on the couch downstairs. Or in bed, once the little dream creature slept, and stealing rough kisses here and there until they felt so exhausted. It was never Ronan who fell asleep first, even if Adam suggests it before accidentally falling asleep on Ronan’s chest.   
  
The gas bill for his car speaks otherwise, driving from work to The Barns, but on those nights Adam feels at peace. It was a new feeling for Adam and it scared him a lot. He’d have nightmares of those wonderful nights with Ronan ending with blood and tears.

 

They spoke in hushed voices while making their late night snack, not wanting to disturb the peace and quiet. Once they finished, Ronan handed Adam both sandwiches and quickly grabbed some water for them both, then Ronan motioned him to follow upstairs. He grabbed Adam’s backpack on the way and they walked to Ronan’s room.

 

“Alright Parrish, eat up.” Ronan grinned as he took his own sandwich and plopped down on his bed. Adam followed in suit, kicking his backpack to the side so he had room to sit next to Ronan.

 

“Best God damn sandwich I’ve had in awhile.” Ronan declared. Adam nodded and made a muffled noise in agreement.

 

“What time is it?” Adam asked as he took his last bite.

 

“The hell do I know?”

 

Adam sighed and reached for Ronan’s cell phone he rarely used.

 

_ 3:26am _

 

“Shit. I got work before school starts.” Adam groaned.

 

Ronan shook his head.

 

“Before you say anything,” Adam’s eyes narrowed, “no I will not take the day off. I already missed too much.” Finals were weeks away and he couldn’t afford to miss anymore school, and his bosses were down his throat about missing so many days while he and his friends attempted to recover from the traumatic event with a demon. 

  
Ronan glanced at Adam with pinched brows.

 

“I wasn’t going to say that, you asshole.” Instead, Ronan stood up and turned so he looked down at Adam.

 

They stared at each other for a moment. Adam held his gaze while Ronan’s studied his newly bruised face while trying to form the words he wanted to say. Finally, Ronan looked right into Adam’s blue eyes.

 

“I want you to move in,” Ronan said without breaking eye contact. “Here. At The Barns. With me and Opal.”

 

Adam was so shocked at Ronan’s proposal that his jaw dropped open. Ronan rolled his eyes in response.

 

“Oh for fucks sake Parrish, don’t look at me like I just told you I’m secretly a virgin. You and I both know that I’m most certainly fucking not.”

 

“Where the hell did this come from?” Adam shook his head in disbelief.

 

Ronan looked at him like he grew two heads.

 

“Are you fucking with me? You’re shithead father knows where you live and this is twice now he’s come unannounced to threaten you.” Ronan began to pace. “Plus we’ve been together for a few months now and you practically live here anyways, and the brat fucking adores the shit out of you so it only makes fucking sense.” Ronan rambled but paused his pacing and looked back at Adam.

 

Adam bit his lip when he was thinking hard. Ronan found this detail memorizing when he first noticed and it made Ronan want to bite Adam’s lip for him.

 

Adam hesitated then said–

 

“I’m going to college in a few months.”

 

“What’s your fucking point?” Ronan mumbled.   
  
“Iㄧ” Adam couldn’t finish. He knew Ronan was right. St. Agnes no longer felt safe to Adam. He felt violated and it frightened him that there could be a next time his father decides to drop by, again.   
  
“Let us be the home you come back to, Adam.” Ronan said faintly.   
  
_ Home.  _ __  
  


Something Adam never had.

 

Adam realized he had accidentally said that word out loud because Ronan walked back to Adam and knelt down in front of him. __  
  


“Yeah, you dickhead. Home.” Ronan grabbed Adam’s hands and held them up to his lips. He began to kiss each finger and soon his knuckles. 

 

“Home.” Adam said again, louder this time, trying to wrap his tongue around the word. He lowered his head to Ronan’s until they’re foreheads touched and Ronan lifted his head a bit so their lips brushed slightly.

 

“Okay.” Adam whispered. And Ronan kissed him.

 

He kissed him with urgency and love. Thankful that Adam had agreed to call The Barns his home. 

 

Thankful that he loved Ronan enough to call him and Opal home. 

 

Ronan deepened the kiss as he lifted his hands to Adam’s jaw and cupped his head gently. He was always so gentle with Adam. 

 

A low moan came from Adam as their kiss became messy and breathless. Ronan bit Adam’s bottom lip as they pulled apart, breathing heavily, and he moved his arms until they rested on the bed beside Adam’s legs. Adam leaned in and pecked Ronan’s lips once, then twice, then he moved along his jawline and downwards towards his neck. Ronan's breaths became unsteady, his heart beating wildly, and he felt Adam smile against his sensitive skin. 

 

As fast as Ronan felt Adam’s hot breathe along his skin, it had left just as quickly.

 

“Why’d you stop, Parrish?” Ronan asked hoarsely. His eyes were still closed as he tried to get control of his breathing. 

 

Once he did, Ronan shifted his body so him and Adam could look at each other in the eyes. Adam smiled cheekily and shrugged.

 

“I have to get up in a few hours,” Adam watched Ronan’s expression change drastically, causing Adam to fight back a laugh. “I want to get  _ some  _ sleep tonight, Lynch.” 

 

“To be continued then.” Ronan smirked. He leaned in and pecked Adam’s lips before he stood up, taking Adam along with him and forced his gorgeous boyfriend to climb into bed. Ronan followed once Adam found a comfortable position and he draped an arm over Adam’s waist.

 

Even though Ronan rarely slept, especially without his headphones, he found comfort in listening to Adam breathe. He became an expert at it and noted when Adam felt anxious or relaxed or content. Right now, Adam’s breathing was content. He was soon about to fall asleep, Ronan knew, based on the way Adam’s breathing began to slow.

 

Ronan scooted closer to Adam until his lips were against Adam’s ear.

 

“I fucking love you, Magician.” Ronan felt Adam laugh lightly.

 

“I love you too, Dreamer.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
